i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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