Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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