do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize