I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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