God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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