i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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