; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
