...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dear god my vagina.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
