I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
