the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
