Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
