i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize