Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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