Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
