it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
