You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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