His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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