I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
