but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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