We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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