My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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