I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
