Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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