Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize