9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
