Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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