maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it's like iHOP with fire
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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