Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
