Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
