Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize