i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
