I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
