she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
