I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
this boner is exhausting
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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