apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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