is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
