Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
