Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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