Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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