imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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