Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
