five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
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Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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