He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
