My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
