I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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