Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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