So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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