he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
