I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
