i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
