on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
