the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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