haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
