i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
