She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
