who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
