Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
