I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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