Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
