If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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