you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
