another moral hangover. fuck.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
