Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
