I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
