you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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