Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
