He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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