I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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